Sexiest Olympics Ever Rio 2016

The sports world was shocked Friday when the IOC snubbed Chicago in favor of Rio de Janeiro. Rio’s historic bid means the Olympics will be held on the South American continent for the first year in its 120 year history and it will be only the second time the Olympics have been held in the southern hemisphere. The 2000 Sydney Australia games were the first.

There were many disappointed Americans when Chicago was eliminated on the first vote. The online sportsbooks had Chicago as a 2/3 favorite but that was likely due to the heavy action coming from American bettors.

There has been a lot of speculation about what Chicago did wrong and what Rio did right, I’ve contacted my sources in the IOC to see if I could gain some insight into the two bids so I could let you know what happened.

Having the 2016 summer games in Chicago would have meant the games would have been profitable because of television contract and big corporate sponsorships assure an American Olympics is a profitable Olympics. Profitability is not assured anywhere else, ask Athens where they spent 15 billion dollars to fund the games and most of the venues sit empty covered in graffiti or Montreal where they were paying off their Olympic debt 30 years after the 1976 Olympics finished. Chicago also boasted star power, Superstar President Barack Obama teamed with Oprah to make impassioned pleas to bring the 2016 Olympics stateside. Those pleas were ignored.

My sources tell me the Rio bid was able to offer a few things the Chicago bid couldn’t; I’ll list them below.
1. A safe South American country to host the continents first Olympic games – Don’t let the murder rate of one an hour scare you, it’s still better than New Orleans.

2. Sex Appeal – Brazil promises to be one of the sexiest games in history, when the locals include Adriana Lima and Gisele Bundchen, you have the sex appeal factor locked up, sorry Chicago Oprah maybe rich but nobody wants to see her rocking a thong bikini.

3. The IOC held a grudge because during Rio’s presentation, soccer great Pele attempted to show off his famous bicycle kick unfortunately Steve Bartman broke up the play costing Chicago the World Series Olympic Bid.

4. Kanye West interrupted Rio’s presentation with “I’m a let you finish…”

5. The IOC was thrilled at the prospect of female athletes being required to flash their racks before being presented with gold, silver and bronze medals.

6. The entire IOC committee was promised free pubic hair removal.

I’m sure there are others but my source deep inside the IOC said these were the main reasons Rio de Janeiro is your 2016 Summer Olympics host city.