NFL PreSeason PowerRankings

1. Steelers – The Steelers are the defending Super Bowl Champs, it will take more than a money hungry Reno waitress to knock them out of top spot.
2. Patriots – Handsome Tom is back, let the Air Show begin. With out a clear-cut number one runner the Pats will pass and pass and pass…
3. Giants – Elisha Manning needs help earning his $15.3 Million a season, with Plaxico Burress awaiting prison, Brandon Jacobs and the Giants will run and run and run…
4. Colts – The Colts have a new coach but they still have the same old Peyton Manning me likey very much.
5. Chargers – The return of Shawne Merriman and a healthy LT will help Chargers stroll through the AFC West, my lock of the year Chargers = AFC West Champs
6. Titans – LenDale White quit drinking Tequila and lost 30lbs. I’m going to quit drinking Gin and…really I don’t know how to finish that sentence.
7. Falcons – How much with the Curse of 370 affect Michael Turner? The addition of Tony Gonzalez will ease that burden.
8. Eagles – A lot of people are high on the Eagles but as the body count rises you have to wonder how many Eagles will last the season.
9. Cardinals – The Cards are the defending conference champs but I question whether 38 year old Kurt Warner has another big season left.
10. Panthers – DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart make the Panthers go but Steve Smith’s injury looms large. Delhomme to Dwayne Jarrett isn’t something we’ll hear often.
11. Cowboys – With Jessica “Yoko” Simpson out of the picture Tony Romo can reignite his budding romance with Jason Witten. Let’s hope there is room for some Roy Williams love.
12. Vikings – Prediction* Adrian Peterson will run for a lot of yards and Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfeld will throw for not quite as much.
13. Ravens – The Ravens still rely on defense to win ball games, the loss of Rex Ryan, Bart Scott and others will hurt…a little.
14. Bears – The Bears can run and they can throw but do they have anyone who can catch?
15. Saints – Drew Brees is channeling his inner Marino, expect Brees to match Marino passing totals and Marino’s Super Bowl total.
16. Bills – Ralph Wilson said the addition of Terrell Owens was a publicity stunt, I’m sure Dick Jauron will have some stories to tell at his next job interview.
17. Redskins – Albert Haynesworth was a HUGE pick up, he’s help shut down the run… It’s a shame about their offense though.
18. Packers – With Favre and Madden both retiring for good (maybe) Aaron Rodgers can be his own man. Greg Jennings and Donald Driver will help him through puberty.
19. Texans – They have a couple solid fantasy options in Andre Johnson and Steve Slaton oh but this is the real world and they are in the same division as the Colts and Titans. It will be another year on the outside looking in.
20. Dolphins – The feel good story of 2008, the Dolphins will be back in their usual spot in the AFC East in 2009, looking up at the Patriots.
21. 49ers – Michael Crabtree is threatening to sit out the entire year and reenter the draft in 2010. He should just demand a trade to the Lions instead of waiting a year for the privilege of playing in Rock City.
22. Seahawks – The entire Seahawks team is coming off the injured list, TJ Houshmanzadah is a great addition. The whole thing is relying on Hasselbeck’s back, if it’s healthy the ‘Hawks will content in the west.
23. Jets – Rex Ryan has been a huge hit in NYC, the future is bright for the Jets but the future is still another season away.
24. Buccaneers – There will be a running back battle in Tampa this year, if Coach Raheem Morris could only be so lucky at the QB position.
25. Jaguars – The Jags could be finish at the bottom of the AFC South, Torry Holt is a nice addition but the Jags still won’t have enough to contend.
26. Broncos – First Jay Cutler now Brandon Marshall it seems everyone wants out of Denver, the Broncos are in trouble this year. I wonder if we’ll see an Andy Garcia cameo.
27. Chiefs – Matt Cassel is signed to a long term deal, Larry Johnson is happy again, King Carl is gone. The Chiefs could have a Dolphin type turnaround but it’s more likely they will double last season’s win total.
28. Bengals – The Bengals should be more competitive this season, especially after they learned letting teams crush them game after game doesn’t count towards their community service.
29. Raiders – Free Run DMC, warning to Tom Cable if you start Jeff Garcia more than 3 games you’ll be looking for a new job regardless of your win/loss record.
30. Browns – The Browns have made coaching changes with former Jets head coach Eric Mangini taking over, it won’t be as bad as last season but it will still be a bad year for the Browns.
31. Rams – There nowhere to go but up for the Rams, a healthy Steven Jackson will keep them in some games but not many.
32. Lions – They’ll win more games this season than in 2008, I guarantee it.