Fantasy Football – The Art of Picking a Name

Every year I join four or more fantasy football leagues. It has become a bit of an obsession of mine. So much so that a couple of years ago I had to limit myself to only two pay to play leagues because in 2006 I joined so many leagues that I had to win two if I wanted to break even.

Before I start researching players and planning my draft strategy, I’ll spend a couple of hours coming up with a team name. I make it my goal to have the best team name in the league, don’t always win in the standings but rarely am I challenged in the race to have the best fantasy football team name. If you want to have the best team name in the league follow my five rules and you’ll be in good shape.

1. The name has to be original – so if you come up with a kick ass name in 2008, unlike Brett Favre when a fantasy football name is retired it won’t make a comeback.
2. The name has to have some humor – I like funny and funny names are memorable, naming your team Fred’s Team or Larry’s Titans lets the other poolies know whose team it is but meh who cares.
3. Be topical – this is your chance to show your biting wit and knack for social commentary with even fewer words than a Twitter update. Suggested topics include Donte Stallworth, Erin Andrews or Ben Roethlisberger but try to avoid Ricky Williams and Pot, Brett Favre or Michael Vick’s Dogs.
4. Once you pick a name it’s yours – I’m sorry you picked a lame name but you own it, it will hang around your neck like an anchor for the rest of the season. Although, rule number 4 can be broken, please read rule number 5.
5. Be offensive – Do your best to offend at least one other fantasy football owner in your league. If you are in a pool with a few Raider Fans, name your team
   ‘Raiders 1st rd draftee” of course this name will only work if you plan to waste your top pick by passing up a blue chip prospect in favor of a track star receiver with no hands who could have been had in the 2nd round. Please note rule 5 trumps rule number 4; if you have a chance to change your team name in order to rattle an opposing owner jump at the chance. This past season I changed my team name in week one to “Tom Brady’s Knee” just minutes after Bernard Pollard knocked Mr. Bundchen out for the season. Team “Pats Fan” was not impressed, the rest of the league was.

I am still undecided on my 2009 team entry but my money draft is this Wednesday so the pressure is on. Check back for fantasy football updates and feel free to send me your team name suggestions.